Accepting Ourselves If I am not for myself, who is for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when? Some of us were treated badly as youngsters and never learned how to live for ourselves. We can see only two choices: either be submissive and care-taking or be abusive and demanding. Many of us have so much guilt and shame that we feel we don't deserve to stand up for ourselves. The program demands that in recovery we be for ourselves. If we don't know how, we learn. If we are unsure, we must experiment. When we make mistakes, we must admit them and know we have a right to be imperfect learners. And we can't be only for ourselves, because that keeps us small and turns us back to where we came from. As we accept ourselves and come to know our imperfections and weaknesses, we can understand others better. We are stronger in giving to others and more effective because we have a place to stand. Even if I don't feel good about myself, I will stand up for my dignity.