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Self-Hatred


I had to write a paper on self-hatred and what it looked like to me, so I thought I may share mine with you... It is crimson red for it is blanketed with anger and at times just plain rage.This is a direct link to past failures that can very easily stunt future success. It dulls my senses and blurs my vision for I just can't quite see through the veil of my own image of myself. It is the size and weight of a cinder block...I can carry it with not much problem for a short distance, but after a little time it's rather uncomfortable, and I tend to shift it to different areas as you would a load that is putting stress and pain on certain muscles. It is the texture of an orange for nothing about it is truly smooth or delicate though it may seem that way at first. It has curved sides so another emotion will not be able to balance for long, and I tend to let a good fact or emotion drop while hanging on to this one feeling... It has the graffiti of a child-like artist, most of my battle has to do with the war of my youth. I do know acceptance is the key to deal with such a character defect, but there are times that I do rebel against acceptance especially if it's an attack assisted from outside forces.

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