Hey friends :-) i was jamming to this earlier, and I'm
in between episodes of fringe, and just remembered i had some stuff to write,
lol. anywho, it never really occurred to me until recently how the power of tongue can and does affect people. those who follow my rants are aware of the issues
I've gone through, and gotten myself into, in my journey of sobriety. I've
always been a firm believer in karma, speaking my mind, and have had a taste of
humble pie the last year and half. in the meeting to nite, it was brought to my
attention how my motives have motives. i tend to get myself into situations i
shouldn't, then when they go exactly how they should, do to MY first action, i
get frustrated with the outcome. fact if the matter is, I'm still my own worst
enemy, dunk, high, and sober. i simply have choices now that i am sober. i will
always get back what i put out. good and bad. i continue to do the much needed
work on myself, and the more 24's that pass, the more work i realize i must do.
my progress in certain areas has thrived, and in other areas has plateaued.
thanks to my sponsor and the panel of experts, i have once again been
enlightened on some defects that i obviously want ready to look at until know.
i have realized the true damage i can do to people, even in sobriety. I've
experienced the cause and affects of emotional sobriety gone wild. and I've
realized one of my greatest assets is not saying how it is to the people that i
am, or that are emotionally attached to me. the pain i can cause, accidental or
intentional, has played a factor on other peoples recovery. this isn't all
about me and keeping me sober anymore. its about you and keeping you sober too.
its about US BEING SOBER TOGETHER. what you give out DOES come "back to
you" eventually. am i putting out what i want back?! name of the game is
change. Gods will is for me to be useful to others. with some people, the way i
am most useful is by keeping quiet, not being around them and their recovery,
not putting in my 2 cents, allowing them to go on their journey and showing
restraint of the tounge/pen/text/etc. this is yet another defect i have found,
and choose to look at and must work on. the book i use is specific... we cease
fighting anything and everyone... and i am amazed before I'm half way through.
probably because I'll never be half way through ;-) i clearly still don't know
anything, which is why i must keep coming back ;-) have a great weekend folks